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|Thursday, July 13th, 2006|
PHW UPDATE FROM HARDCORE SATURDAY AFTERNOON JULY 9
A special saturday afternoon show at the PHW arena.
First up is a special guest match featuring two Japanese wrestlers. These guys are pals of Hiro Mifune and he worked it around that they would make a stop here before continuing on to their tour of the California territories. We, the audience, are given special instructions to stay completely out of their way if they get out into the seating area, apparently these guys are used to the japanese hardcore fans and will slap the audience around if they get too close. The thing is, the Japanese fans love that stuff and take their slaps and bow and nod. It seems that Wilder is a little worried that the local fans won't take it as kindly.
Now these two, Monk Kasume and Masamoto Jiro, have had a feud running through the smaller Japanese promotions for about three years and this is their first trip to America to bring their angle to the American fans. The Insider and I searched all over, but couldn't find any clips, so this is new to us too.
Both of them have that stocky fireplug look that a lot of the Japanese brawler types have, much like Masato Tanaka. They step up face to face, give each other the hard eyeball and then Kasume plants a slap in the middle of Jiro's chest. Jiro returns in kind and they go back and forth, back and forth, each slap getting louder and louder until each man has to circle away holding himself before returning to take his turn. The crowd is getting into this going "Ohhh" each time a slap is delivered.
Jiro makes the final slap and Kasume staggers away. It seems he's had enough because he turns around and slams a tackle into Jiro. They go down in a heap and Kasume pulls himself up Kasume's torso and starts raining down forearms at Jiro's face. Jiro catches his arm and rolls him over. he goes for some kind of ankle lock and Kasume kicks him off.
Both men are up and they go into a bewildering set of rope spots. Over, under, arm drag, roll up, somersault, back elbow... you get the idea, until Jiro nails an awesomebomb. Jiro goes for the turnbuckle, but takes far too long showboating and Kasume shoves him off to the floor. Kasume follows him out and sends him into the guardrail. (new guardrails, btw, they finally could afford some) Jiro reverses the next whip and Kasume is out into the crowd. Jiro follows and they brawl through the floor seating. One fan is apparently savvy with the Japanese style crowd relations and steps up to Jiro arms down and gets a slap in the chest. The fan backs away bowing. Someone's been to Japan on vacation perhaps? Jiro motions the fan back, pantomimes cupping his hands together which the fan mimics and then uses that as a step to spring off backwards into Kasume. Ok, that was cool.
They bring the action back to the ring and do some flippy floppy before throwing some very big slams and bombs. Kasume puts Jiro into this camel clutch kinda thing using the ropes as leverage. It's a rest hold, but I think they deserve it. He lets Jiro go and Jiro rolls out and gets a chair. He brings it in and Kasume snatches it from him and wails him over the head with it. Jiro takes the shot with arms down and fists clenched and looks up afterwards as if daring kasume to oblige. Kasume is more than happy to and whangs him again. Jiro roars his defiance and Kasume stares at him in disbelief. kasume hauls back and pounds him again. This one puts him down and Kasume flings the chair aside and goes to the turnbuckle and climbs it. He goes up into the stratosphere in what can only be described as a Togobomb that Dick Togo himself would be impressed with. I swear he has re-entry flames coming off him. The whole ring shudders on impact. Kasume rolls Jiro up for the three count after an incredible match that had a crowd who had never seen these guys before on their feet and shouting themselves hoarse. I am impressed and will definitely be buying T-shirts.
Next up is a women's title match between the current title-holder Zombie Girl and Sasha Payne. This is the first title match since the night that The Cabal (that being the name for Wizard and his faction) swept up every title PHW had to offer.
Zombie Girl enters with Vampire thus ensuring this will not be a fair match in my mind at least. Sasha Payne makes her way down looking totally focused. She ignores the crowd, her music, the ring announcer, everything but Zombie Girl.
They lock up and Zombie Girl sends her to the ropes and is there with a shoulder block when she gets back. Sasha Payne does not go down. ZG looks down at her and I imagine disbelief under that creepy mask of hers. ZG takes a bounce off the ropes and collides with Sasha. Sasha Payne once again does not go down. Sasha slaps her own chest and yells at ZG to "Bring it." ZG hauls back with one gigantic undead fist and Sasha is right there with an inside block and a punch of her own. Sasha throws fist after fist up into ZG's face and it starts to stagger the big monster back into the turnbuckle. Sasha throws a forearm then heads to the opposite turnbuckle and charges... right into the bottom of Zombie Girl's massive left foot. As she staggers away ZG is right behind her and smashes her in the back. Sasha staggers into the turnbuckle and rebounds. ZG is there waiting and catches her in a standing abdominal stretch. Now there's something you don't see every day, a giant who can actually apply holds.
ZG leans back again and again and we can all see the agony etched across Sasha Payne's features. When ZG lets go Sasha crumples to the floor in a heap. Zombie Girl picks her up and then drops her with an old fashioned bulldog. ZG stalks around her pulling her off the floor again only to put her back down with a pump handle slam. ZG takes a knee and uses one hand for a lazy cover and Sasha doesn't even wait until two to kick out. ZG lifts her to her feet and picks her up for a powerbomb, but what's this? Sasha is punching down from the lift int Zombie Girl's head. She punches once, twice, three times and ZG pitches back and Sasha rides her down. Sasha struggles up and half drops a knee into ZG's forehead and half collapses.
Both women are down and Owen Sweda is counting. Sasha's up at the count of seven and leans heavily into the corner. ZG sits up ala Undertaker and climbs to her feet. Sasah charges her and ZG sidesteps and sends her flying out of the ring. This is dangerous territory for Payne as Vampire is out there and is now stalking her from around the corner. It looks like he's circling in for the kill as ZG has Owen Sweda's attention. The doors from backstage crash open and Garret Jessup comes out at a dead run. He barrels into Vampire and goes all kinds of knucklecrazy on him. Let that be a lesson to ya, Vamps, some people have mental-as-anything spousal units too. Jessup keeps up a steady stream of admonition while he's pounding on him too. Something to the effect of "Don't! You! Ever! Fucking! Touch! Her!" or the like.
Sasha's back in the ring now, and she and ZG are trading punches and kicks hard. You'd think they don't like each other or something. Sasha sends ZG into the ropes and ducks for the flip toss. ZG stops herself and puts a boot into Sasha's face and then catches her for a standing suplex. She takes her up, but Sasha flails her legs, reverses the grip and comes down. DDT! DDT! OH MY GOD! The crowd chants "One, two, three!!!" and it's over. Score one against the Cabal! Sasha Payne is the new PHW Women's Champion!
Then we all go outside to the parking lot for $2 brats and beer while they set up the ring for the main event, the PHW Hardcore Championship Elimination Free-For-All. Man this is gonna be insane.
We get back in and it's like the hardcore fairy has visited. (now there's a mental image) The ring ropes are replaced with barb wire, there are road signs, garbage cans, two shallow pallets filled with thumbtacks, light tubes (thank you CZW), and various other implements of the extreme scattered around everywhere.
Owen Sweda, Bob Kowalic,and Dianne O'Connor are out there too as well as four other refs I don't recognize. The announcer explains the rules. It's an elimination match. A wrestler is out when he taps, Says he quits, or gets counted out falls count anywhere in the building. It looks like there won't be any backstage count outs, though, because as the last entrant heads to the ring Dave Wilder chains the doors to the backstage shut.
Gathered in the ring are:
Combat Chris Walker
Pizza Guy 1, Big Gar
Pizza Guy 2, Robbie K
Joker (welcome back, man)
That's twenty four guys if you're counting. Some of them look distinctly like they'd rather be somewhere else. Toehold Nelson, for example, looks like he's gonna barf.
The bell rings and the ring explodes into... metaphors escape me, friends. This is just mental. I'm really having trouble calling the action here. Several guys have already gone to the floor. Domino is chasing Tyler Vaughn around with a fire extinguisher and the big white cloud isn't helping me discern what's going on.
We have our first elimination in under a minute. Mike Corea is knocked unconscious with a stop sign and pinned by Robbie K.
Second out is Burnout, who taps out to a Fujiwara arm bar applied by Toehold Nelson. Way to go Toehold.
Keith Risk Says "I quit" to stop Wizard from dropping him into one of the pallets of thumb tacks. Wizard drops him in it anyway. What a bastard.
Domino and Russel Velvet are dueling with chairs. The Shenanigan Brothers have Mad margeret down and are putting the boots to him. Hiro Mifune jumps off the ring post into a the crowd in the ring and it's carnage carnage carnage.
Chris Walker pins Baz Thunder after smashing him head first into a pile of light tubes. Both men are dripping blood.
Turk 187 Smashes Joker through a table, but only gets a two count. Big Gar picks up a table and smashes both Shenanigans to the ground with it.
Russel Velvet clobbers Domino with a chair shot that leaves the open chair dangling around his neck and then taps out as Velvet chokes him with it.
Mad Margeret sneaks into the audience to have a sitdown and a beer. ok, that's funny.
Big Gar Pins Jimmy Shenanigan, then Mikey Shenanigan in turn, then he get clobbered from behind by Paul Dwayne with a garbage can and counted out himself.
Toehold Nelson Says I quit after losing a fair amount of forehead to the wire.
Mad Margeret finishes his beer and then catches paul Dwayne unawares and smashes him through the ringside seats and into the wall, where he pounds him down and hollers for a ref. No one hears him, so he drags Dwayne back to the ring where he rolls him in and then promptly gets driven shoulders first into the other pallet of thumbtacks by Turk 187 and pinned there.
Wizard, Paul Dwayne, and Rick Witt team up to pin Hiro Mifune after putting him through a table. The three of them then come to the aid of Vampire and stomp Garret Jessup senseless and pin him too.Danny Youngblood and Alex Lobo come out of nowhere and while Alex holds the attention of the other three, Danny single out Rick witt and makes him tap out with Tazmission.
Russel Velvet simply says "I quit. this ain't my thing and i did what i came here to do." No one's even near him.
Joker and paul Dwayne fight to the front of the arena and someone comes barreling in the entrance and hits them with a janitors cart. HOLY CRAP IT'S WRECKER!
Wrecker runs past them and grabs the mic out of Owen Sweda's hand. (all the refs have mics for the "I quit" stipulation) "This is my fucking match! How the fuck can you have a hardcore match without me?" And to prove his point he picks up a coil of barb wire puts it over his head and then cross-body blocks Paul Dwayne to the floor and bear hugs him until he taps out. The crowd is going bugnuts and chanting "Fuck em up, Wrecker. Fuck em up!"
Turk and Wizard are brawling hard with Alex Lobo and Danny Youngblood.
Combat Walker just did a Super Dragon style curb stomp on joker, and now he counts him out.
Danny Youngblood takes a ladder to the face from Turk 187 and then Turk turns the ladder on Lobo. Wizard counts out Lobo, but Turk can't capitalize by counting out Youngblood because he's busy fending off an enraged Combat Walker who's swinging a mop at him. Oh! Turk takes a mop in the mush.
Wrecker has Vampire up in the ring and is stomping him down. There's a table there. What's he got? Lighter fluid!? Wrecker puts Vampire through a flaming table and gets a three count amidst the wreckage. Beautiful! Dianne O'Connor has the presence of mind to use the fire extinguisher after Bob Kowalic makes the count.
Wizard smashes Youngblood back to the floor again with a hockey stick and then makes him tap out by shoving it into his mouth and leaning on it. That's just sick!
Robbie K goes down under a barrage of chair shots from Wrecker and get counted out.
Wizard and Turk 187 are double teaming Combat Chris Walker and it doesn't look so good for him. They sandwich him in the ladder and Wizard slams it with a chair and then Turk goes upstairs and frog splashes it. Turk looks more fucked up than Walker. Wizard makes the cover and counts Walker out.
Wrecker comes from behind, grabs Wizards by the leg and rams his right knee (yes, the one he had surgery on) into the ladder, and then again. Wizard rolls away clutching his knee and howling. Wrecker is on him in a flash and three counts later Wizard is out.
Wrecker picks up a chair. Turk is up too and has a chair as well. They look long and hard at each other. Turk 187 points at him and mouths "You're dead." Wrecker lifts his chair for the audience, which is going fucking crazy, and then brings it down to hold out in front of him like some kind of fucked up samurai warrior.
The chair duel is on. Three loud smashes against each other and Wrecker ducks the fourth and plants his chair smack dab up against the back of Turk's skull. Turk goes down like he's been shot with a cannon and wrecker covers him for one... two... th... what the fuck? Wrecker pulls him up before the third count and hauls him to his feet. He swipes owen Sweda's mic again.
"I am not done with you yet." says Wrecker and then he whips Turk into the barb wire ropes. Wrecker stomps over, takes the coil of wire off of himself (is it me or did her seem more comfortable with it there?) and proceeds to tie Turk to the barbwire ring ropes with it. Wrecker motions for Sweda to put the mic up.
"Do you quit, Turk?"
"Fuck you." Says Turk while struggling to free himself.
Wrecker reaches down and picks up a light tube that is miraculously still intact and smashes it over Turk. I will never get used to seeing that.
"What about now?"
Wrecker smashes him with a garbage can, and again it's "Fuck you."
Wrecker pounds him over and over until Turk is only held up by the wire. He's out. He's gone. Wrecker finally has to call for a pair of cutters to get him loose and count him out.
The day finishes with Wrecker holding up a coil of wire while blood runs down his arm as he is proclaimed the PHW Hardcore champion.
|Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006|
So the lights go out again and I nearly kill myself getting to my seat again. I should really pay more attention to those "please take your seats" announcements.
RingKing here and this week's report is total insanity.
The lights go back on and standing in the ring are Wizard, Turk 187, Rick Witt, Baz Thunder, Paul Dwayne, Tyler Vaughn, Vampire and Zombie Girl. Turk, Witt and Thunder look a little scruffy and haggard, but are standing with the group aren't even being restrained.
The crowd collectively says "what the fuck?" to itself and Wizard lifts the mic up to speak.
The crowd interrupts him with a "welcome back" chant, but he cuts them off.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'm sick of that crap, and besides you aren't gonna like me for long, so just shut the hell up and listen."
"I made this company. This big idiot and his toadies made this company. Tyler and Paul, my toadies, made this company. Our fights and feuds made this company, and lastly, these two freaks made this company. This company owes us big and we are here to collect big."
Everyone with him nods. I expect that from Vaughn, Dwayne, Vampire and ZG, but With, Thunder and Turk 187 are nodding along with them. It's like a cult or something.
"Say hello to the faction that's here to rule this ring. Say hello the the pack of outcasts and losers that's here to spoil everyone else's fun. Say hello to your worst nightmare."
"All of you in the back better get your asses out here, and that especially means you, Wilder, and bring your lawyer, because we have business to discuss."
Wrestlers, referees, and, lastly, Wilder come out from the back. Wilder has a microphone. "What the hell is this Wizard? Huh? You won't take my calls? You won't return my emails, you won't respond to my letters, but now you're here hijacking my show with my talent? You don't have a contract, Wizard, so what are you doing in my ring?"
Wizard reaches into a sack held by Turk and takes out the heavyweight title belt and holds it up for everyone, especially Wilder, to see. "This is all I need to stand in this ring, Wilder. I was and still am the champ and that means I talk and you listen."
Wilder looks pissed, but he controls himself. "All right, I'm listening. Against my better judgement I'm listening."
"Watch it, Wilder. You're gonna want to pay special attention now. Whatever matches that were scheduled tonight are off. I'm booking this show tonight, and every match involves a title. Firstly Witt and Thunder here get a shot at the tag team belts, then Vampire gets his shot at Russel Velvet's cruiserweight title, then Zombie Girl gets to meet Xaviera Renner for the women's belt, and lastly never let it be said I don't defend what's mine, because you can send anyone you damn well want out here to face me for the heavyweight belt."
"Wilder goes to respond, but Wizard interrupts him "Hold on, Wilder, before you say something stupid I want to show you something." He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and holds it up. It looks to be a cashiers check. "This is a check made out by Bobby Redding Jr.'s widow to PHW for damages and court costs. The one you've been fighting with her lawyers for. Well, I convinced her that she wasn't gonna win, but that she could get one over on you by handing it to me. I'm convincing like that. So, do we have a deal? I book this night and you get the check? Go on, send your lawyer up to take a look. I have all night."
Wilder sputters and looks like he's gonna have a coronary right there, but he sends Carl Prisling, his lawyer up to look at the check. Prisling gives the nod and Wilder tries to get ahold of himself. "All right. Yes. Fine. You have a deal."
The wrestlers around Wilder don't look happy at all and start to complain to him. "Everybody back off. I have no choice here. He wins. If you have a title to defend I suggest you get ready. Everybody else get back in the locker room."
Wizard holds up his mic again. "I'll pass on that. Me and mine will just take the best seats in the house and watch the show." and with that they all grab folding chairs and set them up at ring side, except for Witt and Thunder who stay in the ring to await the Pizza Guys.
The Pizza Guys come down to the ring looking none to happy about any of this and climb into the ring.
The bell rings and the match is on. Big Gar and Baz Thunder lock up. A couple of half hearted stabs at some wrestling and then the punchkick starts. Big Gar has a serious mad on and is really taking it out on Baz Thunder. A swinging neck breaker convinces Baz that he should tag out and Witt steams in swinging hard and backs Gar into his own corner. Robbie makes the blind tag and sends Rick Witt to the mat again and again with a series of clotheslines. He escalates to ropework, but Vampire and Zombie Girl are out of their seats and stalking around the ring. Referee Dianne O'Connor looks nervous about this and I can't say as I blame her. These two are notorious about interference.
Zombie Girl reaches up and grabs the top rope and O'Connor goes to warn her away, but that's just the opportunity a little league bat wielding Paul Dwayne and a kendo stick swinging Tyler Vaughn need. Dwayne launches himself at Big Gar at his corner and cracks him in the thigh while Tyler lays a double handed swing into the top of Robbie's head as he bounces off the ropes.
The ref turns around and looks pretty pissed. She knows she's been had, but can't do anything about it. Witt tags in Thunder and they team up for a double standing suplex on Pizza Guy Robbie. Thunder goes for the pin and Dianne O'Connor reluctantly slaps three times on the mat to proclaim Baz Thunder and Rick Witt the tag team champions.
I look look over and Wizard is laughing so hard he nearly chokes to death on his own spit. Glad you're enjoying this, Wizard.
Next up is Vampire and Russel Velvet, Russel doesn't look his usual smooth self as he walks down to the ring, but he doesn't look too worried either. He and Vampire have what starts off to be a really great really clean match with a lot of really excellent standing reversals and the like, but then it goes schmozola when everyone seated at ringside stands up and rushes the ring apron. They don't actually do anything though, they just stop there. It's enough to gather the attention of Referee Owen Sweda though and it all but looks like he'll make the sign of the cross with his fingers to hold these evil bastards back.
Meanwhile in the ring Russel gets a faceful of spit blood from Vampire and staggers about trying to clear his eyes. Vampire puts him down with drop kick, nails him in place with a flip forward leg drop, and then puts him away with the liber mortis off the top turnbuckle. And there you have it. Vampire and cheats his way into the cruiserweight title with the help of his newfound family of misfits.
Now, most people would be scared witless to get into the ring with Zombie Girl, male or female, but Xaviera Renner is one cool cucumber. She doesn't even blink coming down to the ring. She faces off with ZG and as they stare at each other she says something I can't make out, but would love to know, because it makes ZG charge her in a fury.
Renner fakes left then dodges right with a drop toehold and then scrambles onto ZG's back and works hard for any kind of lock or hold she can put on, but ZG literally shrugs her off and starts to lumber to her feet. Renner is faster by far though, and ZG gets a face full of boots from Renner's sitting drop kick.
Renner darts and dodges and uses her full arsenal of speed and misdirection to stab at ZG like a bullfighter.
We all know it's coming, but we don't want to admit it, and the roar of disappointment is deafening when Zombie Girl finally catches Renner as she comes off the ropes. Renner was going for a hard rolling kick to ZG's shin, but ZG just stoops, catches her around the waist, and then flings her into the turnbuckle to land in a tangle.
ZG storms in kicking at Renner's midsection hard. I wince every time she connects and hope her ribs stay intact. ZG lifts her up and then flips her around into the Tombstone piledriver. The crowd actually winces as a collective whole as she hits. Dan Brust counts three and Zombie Girl takes the women's title without a single cheat. I guess seven foot monster women don't need to cheat to win.
And now Wizard climbs into the ring, he grabs a mic and says "Ok, who's it gonna be? Which one of you second raters is gonna come take a shot at my title? Oh, and just remember that the last serious contender I had I destroyed piece by piece and he works for me now, right, Turk?" With that he tosses the mic aside and leans on the ropes looking to see who will take up his challenge.
I expect Chris Walker to walk out. I expect Hiro Mifune to walk out. I even on the outside expect Danny Younblood. Even the three of them walking out together crossed my mind so I'm not surprised when it happens, but what sends me up out of my seat with everyone else is who they turn and wait for.
Alex makes his way down to the ring slapping hands and getting hugs from fans by the entrance walk. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is glad to see him. Well, everyone but Wizard that is. He looks a bit suprised, and damned irritated.
Alex climbs into the ring and he and Wizard square off. The bell rings and they still stand there. They lean closer giving each other the hard hairy eyeball.
Wizard hauls back and slaps the taste right out of Alex's mouth. The crowd goes "Oooh." Alex slaps him back. Again "Oooh." Slaps go back and forth until they turn into Ric Flair chops which, of course, produces "Wooo!" from the crowd. Will wrestling audiences ever tire of that? Probably not.
Chops progress to pull on punches and then they lock up just when everyone was wondering if this was gonna be a bare knuckle boxing match.
Now Alex and Wizard both are intense technical wrestlers. Alex Lobo is a fourth generation Mexican wrestler and the first in his family to wrestle extensively north of the border regions. Wizard is a veteran of the warehouse and gymnasium circuit for decades and has had runs in bigger territories like Nashville, northern Florida and Minnesota. His bag of tricks is extensive and as dirty as they come. Watching these two veterans lock up is something else.
It's old time wrasslin' here and now, folks. Wizard pull Lobo in for a headlock, Lobo pushes him off into the ropes and catches his own headlock, Wizard reaches up from behind and between Alex's legs as if he were trying to lift him for a back body drop, but when Alex leans forward to counter he squirts out behind and catches him in what looks kind of like a dragon sleeper, Alex bridges hard then flips back over Wizard and places his own version of the hold on then drops it into what's basically a backwards DDT.
This gets us on our feet.
Alex starts using the ropes to his advantage as is his way, but Wizard doesn't let it get the best of him. Where Alex uses speed and agility Wizard just counters with subtle positioning and sheer toughness. It's like Alex just can't take him off his feet, and when he gets frustrated and makes a suicide dive Wizard is right there to take advantage of it by side-stepping and sending him sprawling outside the ring.
Wizard's crew are all over him in a second, but Danny Chris, and Hiro are right on top of them. It's a brawl outside the ring as Alex regains his feet, ducks a wild swing from Tyler Vaughn's stick, knocks him prone with an uppercut and rolls back into the ring.
Wizard lifts him up and then headbutts him down and applies (oh you've got to be kidding me) the CLAW! Wizard is leaning his full wieght into it and referee Owen Sweda starts counting when he starts walking his feet up the ropes for more leverage. Alex kicks his feet like crazy as Wizard supports nearly his full wieght on Alex's face.
Wizard lets go and tells the ref in no uncertain terms to "Fuck off, Or you're next." He turns and sends several kicks into Lobo's ribs while holding the ropes. He pulls Alex to his feet again and then puts him on his knees with another headbutt. He then pulls his arms behind him and puts his knee into the middle of his shoulders in an old style rack.
Outside of the ring others have joined the fray. Garret Jessup, Sasha Payne, and Mike Corea have come out to support Walker, Mifune, and Youngblood. Oh, man, here comes Wrecker with a fire extinguisher.
Inside the ring Wizard continues to stretch Alex's pecs and shoulders and the look of agony on Alex's face says it all. Those old timey holds may look hokey, but this one saps your strength and your ability to get enough air. Rest hold my ass.
Alex is trying to power out of it and we're on our feet clapping in encouragement. (or as I like to call it: the "wake up, tinkerbell, I do believe in faries" moment) He's shaking and sweating and Wizard is trying to keep control.
He's out! He's out! He's... down. Wizard puts him down with a short-arm clothesline and puts his boot on his neck. Owen Sweda is counting again. Wizard turns on Sweda again. It gives Alex the chance to get up and shake his head. Wizard turns and runs for the clothesline, Alex ducks it, Wizard off the ropes, Alex drops and Wizard hops over him, Wizard off the opposite ropes and Alex leapfrogs him, heads off the ropes himself and they collide hard and both are down.
Owen Sweda looks them over and starts to count, Both men are having trouble getting to their feet. Wizard makes it first and runs forward to grab Alex by the head and THROW HIM INTO THE REF! What an asshole move by Wizard. Wizard heads to the corner and yells down at Paul Dwayne, who's just gotten free of an angry Garret Jessup by throwing Tyler Vaughn at him. Dwayne tosses Wizard a chair.
Alex Lobo gets up from checking on Owen Sweda, who's slowly coming around, and *blam* takes a chairshot to the head, then *blam* another to the back, and *blam* one more for shits and grins while he's down. Wizard drags Sweda over and covers Alex. Sweda makes a groggy three count and Wizard keeps his title, and I, for one, hopes he chokes on it!
|Friday, May 19th, 2006|
PHW SHOW REPORT FROM SUNDAY MAY 14 2006
RingKing here and let's just cut the crap and get to the action.
First match of the night was a tag team title defense by Robbie and Big Gar, better known as The Pizza Guys. The PGs get a big pop coming out, they've been fan favorites from the moment they debuted.
Their opponents are Punk and Disorderly for no other reason than they won a coin toss against the Shenanigan Brothers backstage. The referee announces that due to Dave Wilder's irritation with previous debacles (his words not mine) there will be no disqualifications for interference in this match-up, and then Mad Margeret swipes the mic and announces that they'll be no interference from the Shenanigan Brothers because he tricked them into the broom closet and padlocked it. Both the Punkers and the PGs seem to agree that this was a good idea.
The match itself is a little slow and ho-hum. There's a little decent back and forth a few big slams, but not much else to yell about until Mags hits a big piledriver on Big Gar and then sends Burnout at Robbie with a fastball special. Mags climbs to the top rope and gives a look the the crowd and then stops about halfway. We all turn to see what he's looking at and it's Dana Shenanigan with a pair of bolt cutters over her shoulder.
The doors explode open and here come Mikey and Jimmy at full tilt. Mags hardly has time to say "Oh shi..." before they're all over him beating him senseless with a mop handle and a gum scraper that lays his forehead wide open. They pound him senseless in the ring and then drag Big Gar over him. The ref counts three for the PGs to retain the title.
Next up we have Kieth Risk and Mike Corea. Kieth Risk still doesn't have much in the way of exciting offense, but man, does he make other guys look good. The whole match is a showcase of Mike's growing arsenal of highly athletic high impact offense including his new finisher which is a somersault flapjack. Winner? Corea. MVP? Risk.
Toehold Nelson comes to the ring. I guess this is the mystery match we've all been waiting for. His "mystery" opponent? Welcome back Garret Jessup. Here's another "welcome back" chant. Nelson squares of like he wants to wrestle. Big mistake. Jessup wades in like the mad brawlers he always was. It's not a classy elegant match by any means. Jessup just pounds and pounds and pounds. Eventually Jessup is on top of Nelson in a UFC style ground and pound and the ref rings for the bell. Dianne O'Connor shows us why she's the refereee's referee with a good call. She declares Jessup the winner due to his opponent being unable to fight on. It's a strange call to see made in pro wrestling, but I think the crowd is behind it.
Then there's this odd amusing little side-show where Russel Velvet, the Ladies Man, comes out and brings up four women from the audience. He does this little miniature pageant thing where he asks questions and has them walk around, and then he has the crowd decide which one he should take out to Red Lobster. In the end he says he can't figure out who the crowd is hollering for louder, so he'll just take all four of them out, and don't worry about the check. Kind of cute.
The final match marks Combat Chris Walker's return to the ring. He's set to face Turk 187.
The screen fires up and there's Turk looking pretty spooked. "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not no horror movie bimbo. I'm not just gonna walk out there and let it happen, man. Walker, you enjoy your win. I'm not coming anywhere near that ring. No way. I'm not making it easy. No chance." There's the sound of a door slamming and Turk 187 just about jumps out of his skin. He points at the camera. "Hey, I thought I told you guys to lock the door. You fuckers are gonna go and fuck it up for me. LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!" Turk looks to be regressing pretty fast. He's wild eyed and barely coherent.
The lights go out, but there's still sound. We all know the sound of the Wizard's voice as he growls out "Found you!!" and then there's the sound of Turk screaming like a little girl, a lot of crashing and then the feed goes dead.
Walker is still in the ring and he doesn't look happy. He motions for the mic.
"If you idiots want to play your bullshit games that's fine with me, but do it on your own fucking time not mine. Listen up, meatwads. I came here looking for a fight, and I better damn well get one. You got until the count of ten to throw some sorry sack of shit out those doors for me to have a match with or I WILL COME BACK THERE AND CLEAN HOUSE. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."
Hiro Mifune walks through the doors looking very unconcerned. He walks up to the ring and then climbs in. He holds out his hand for the microphone which Walker obligingly hands to him.
"I will have a match with you, but you should forget about all of the amateur theatrics you were planning on using against Turk 187. For me you bring your big league game, right." He holds the mic up to Walker's face.
Walker looks his former tag team co-champion in the eye and says "You beat you ass."
Ref Owen Sweda calls for the bell and the two lock up. I'm not gonna move by move the whole match, but listen to this opening set of spots will ya? Lockup, Walker with a headlock, Mifune counters with a duckout into a hammerlock, Walker reverses to his own hammerlock, Mifune with the elbow, duckunder and armdrag and twist, Walker flips out of it and tries for a fireman's carry, Mifune rolls out of the carry kneespins to his feet, tries his own fireman's carry and the whole spot ends with Walker sitting and Mifune kneeling behind him with a waistlock on. Very technical and very well executed. Walker has really really done his homework.
The match continues with some high energy ropework, what can only be called a slam and reversal contest, and then into some really heavy power moves by Walker and some absolutely crazy high spots from the Japanese Aeronaut. The match ends with Walker catching Mifune mid hurracanrata and dropping a thunderous sit-down powerbomb for the three count at 21:13. Wow that was a long amazing match that just never seemed to stop. I hope someone videotaped that, because I want to send a copy to every federation in the world as a tutorial about how to pace a match. Good show, guys.
|Sunday, April 9th, 2006|
TheInsider's Interview with Joker-
Sorry I posted this late, its been a hectic weekend. This interview took place last week, I interviewed Joker @ his apartment in Fremont, this is an edited transcript of a three hour interview-
TI: Joker, its been a while, nice apartment, thanks for the invitation.
J: Thanks. I realize this was probably a shock, but I have a lot I've been wanting to get off my chest.
TI: Interesting, lets begin with where you've been since PHW got re-started, I was sure you were the suprise guest that was hinted at on the video.
J: I'll be candid. I owe that much to Mr. Wilder, PHW, and my fans. First off, I want to say I am currently in negotiations with PHW to re-sign, but there's a lot in the contract that needs to be taken care of, I have a lot to prove.
TI: How so, you're both an accomplished wrestler and an "X"-games medalist.
J: Former X-games star, that part of my life is over, I'm dedicating myself to wrestling full time.
TI: Really?!? Thats a suprise.
J: Its something I have to do. Trying to be a two sport athlete was killing me, i didn't have the discipline to continue. I was leading myself down a self-destructive path.
TI: There were rumors of all night parties and showing up late to events.
J: I'll end any scuttlebutt right now Insider, I was showing up late, not only for my wrestling events but for my X-games appearances as well.
TI: Was it burn-out, and why haven't we seen you in almost two years?
J: Quite frankly, because I was wasted a lot! I cracked my pelvis at a moto-x event in California two Marches ago, my ego didn't let me take any time off. I started to self medicate so I could continue with my x-games and wrestling careers.
J: At first. Combined with alcolhol. As I kept pushing myself, it became worse substances.
TI: Why didn't you go to rehab?
J: For the same reason no junkie, (and thats what I'd become) goes to rehab. Pride, denial, fear, I would've had to admit I had a problem.
TI: Why didn't you go to PHW?
J: Are you kidding me? Dave Wilder had his own problems, the las thing he needed was some guy eating up his company finances with a lot of rehab bills.
TI: So you hid it, and risked putting him out of business instead?!?
J: (head down, matter-of-fact and sad) Yes, I had become blinded by own pride that I just kept trying to hide it.
TI: Ultimately, what led you to get clean?
J: First off, let me just reiterate that Mr. Wilder and PHW had no idea I was using. I want their good name to remain clear. Everything that I did wrong was ultimately a consequence of my actions.
J: That being said; I tried to live as normal life as possible. I had gotten it into my head that somehow I could be a functioning addict. I was able to keep up the illusion for a short time. Eventually it wasn't just showing up late, I'd become sloppy. The x-games decided they'd had enough of me after I completely blew off two events.
TI: Sounds like you'd burned some people pretty hard.
J: Yeah, then kharma came back and kicked me in the stones. My girlfriend ditched out on me, I don't blame her. Since I was no-showing my personal appearances my endorsment money stopped coming in. My Viper and my house got repoed. Eventually I sold my bike and hocked my gold medals.
TI: Uh, Jeezus Joker I don't know what to say...
J: Its ok, on the wrestling side, the final straw was two-fold. One, and this is the first time anyone's heard this- I was the one that injured Owen Sweda at the training camp. I dropped him wrong on a Pedigree because I was f**ked up. "Combat" rightfully went ballistic on me. As if that wasn't enough, later that afternoon he walked in on me getting a fix.
TI: OH S**T!
J: Yeah. So "Combat" legitimately beat my ass for about an hour, then walked me up to Dave Wilder's office so I could tender my resignation.
TI: Did you then inform him about what was going on with your substance abuse?
J: Actually, that stayed between "Combat" and I.
TI: Really?! Why was that?
J: You'd have to ask Combat, but he told me that he still thought I could do something with my life. He didn't think I was beyond redemption yet.
TI: Was that what finally got you help?
J: That was the start, what cinched it for me was going to Owen in the hospital. Walker got me out of my apartment at six am and took me down to see him.
TI: What was that like?
J: Scariest moment of my life. Combat walked me in, Owen was there, along with his wife and son. Robbie Kawanhoe was there also. Owen was layin there in a halo and I lost it. I'm not afraid to admit that, I just plain lost it.
I broke down and told him everything. I sobbed, I think I even threw up. I couldn't beleive it, Owen forgave me.
TI: Really? Thats amazing.
J: No S**t. I just told him everything, right there in front of his wife, Combat and Robbie. Thats when I decided I needed help. I couldn't live with myself if Owen would've wound up paralyzed.
TI: Thankfully he didn't, and should have medical clearance in another month or two.
J: Yeah? Great, that rules.
TI: Robbie and Owen are childhood friends, how'd he take it?
J: Well, lets just say Combat saved my life twice.
TI: Uh, wow. Ok.
J: That weekend I had Combat drive me to rehab, he picked the place. A cabin up in the cascade mountains run by an old instructor of his. They combine martial arts, meditation, and military survival techniques to clean you out.
TI: Sounds intense.
J: It was, I was basically taken off everything cold turkey. There were a couple times I thought I was gonna die. But I wanted to do it, not only for myself but for Owen and PHW as well.
TI: Did they isolate you or were you allowed visitors?
J: We didn't get any visitors for the first month. At the end of that time I got a two hour supervised furlough to basically go and make amends with Mr. Wilder. He was gracious enough to see me, and told me to come back to him for work in some capacity when I was out.
TI: You got lucky Joker.
J: I got very lucky. Mostly, I'm lucky and thankful to be alive. I want to thank Chris Walker, Dave Wilder, Vampire, Robbie, and Owen for attending my graduation from the facility as well.
TI: What have you been doing since you got clean?
J: Well, I'm completely straight edge now. No drinking, narcotics, smoking, coffee or even meat! I've been working at an organic juice bar in the U district.
TI: Are you coming back to PHW?
J: By the grace of Dave Wilder, yes. I've been working as part of the ring crew per my own request. From there I go to sound crew, then I curtain jerk, then I get back in the ring when Wilder and Combat think I'm ready to go, which I'm happy with.
TI: Are you done with the X-games?
J: Yes, thats a chapter in my life that is closed. It was an experience that I'm glad I had, but I'm done with it. I even gave my medals away. One to Combat, one to Dave Wilder, and I gave my gold medal to Owen Sweda.
TI: Joker, when you are cleared to wrestle, what can your fans expect?
J: I'll still bring it balls out, full throttle like I used to, only this time I'll bring it with more respect and appreciation for my fans and PHW.
TI: Damn Joker, this was intense. Thanks for your time and your candor.
J: Thanks Insider, I really appreciate it.
So there it is folks. I think we just found the first volume of PHW's "shoot interviews" if they ever release them. I hope everyone took something away from this. I rally don't know what else to say, other than...........TheInsider, Out!! Current Mood: creative
|Thursday, April 6th, 2006|
By friday at the latest. (I'm editing it right now, and work really has me bogged down). PLUS- The new "Moves On The Mat" column describing the different signature or fininshing moves you'll see in PHW.
TheInsider, out!............ Current Mood: rushed
|Friday, March 31st, 2006|
I've got an interview with Joker that I just did recently that I'd like to post. (With your permission of course.)
It's really interesting and really candid also. Shoot me a message if you're interested.
Out... Current Mood: good
|Thursday, March 30th, 2006|
SHOW REPORT, SUNDAY MARCH 26
Alright then, here we go.
Traffic sucks and I nearly miss all of Demonis Exile's short set. I stand and think that if it hadn't been for that annoying chick on her cell phone I'd be into a second beer by now. It looks like a lot of people are filing in about now to. Maybe they didn't want to see the band, or maybe they were stuck in traffic too. I'm not sure, but at least a few look disappointed as Vampire thanks us and they exit the stage.
We're asked to find our seat and I buy a hot dog and a beer. I nearly trip over some guy's legs when the lights go out. (Hey, man, if you're reading this, sorry). The screen comes up and it's flames on black again, this time with the words "All hell will break lose. He is coming." Ok, I'm intrigued.
First match of the night is Domino vs. Keith Risk. Keith hits the ring first, then Domino stalks down to the ring looking seven different kinds of pissed off. He proceeds to dismantle Keith Risk... hard. Domino unveils a new level of brutality on the poor kid. He especially concentrates on Risk's right arm and continues to do so even after the ref calls the match because Risk is out cold. Domino finishes his classless temper tantrum by racking Risk's shoulder against the ringpost not once, not twice, but three times. Ok, we get it. No more mr. nice guy. What a jerk.
Next up is Xaviera Renner and Sascha Payne. We get a welcome back chant for each, and I swear they have the best ring entrance songs in the whole deal. Chaos A.D. by Sepultura and All I Had I Gave by Crowbar respectively.
This is a classic athleticism vs. power match with Renner pulling an alarming array of offense out of her bag of tricks and Payne absorbing it all and delivering raw power back in it's stead. We are treated to a corkscrew springboard dropkick from Renner followed by an attempted tilt-a-whirl reversed into a backbreaker by Payne. There's some really awesome stop-drop-and-roll ropework and a series of escalating powerbombs delivered by Payne followed by a kickout by Renner that actually surprises us! Renner rolls out of the ring to try to gain some air and distance and Payne follows her out. Payne goes to whip her into the guardrail and Renner reverses it. Renner goes back into the ring to break the count and then, HOLY SHIT, makes a suicide dive over the ropes to crash into Payne. Both women crash to the floor and we are on our feet hollering that fecal chant at the top of our lungs.
I truly don't know if either one can get back to her feet, and the EMT is hovering really close by, like me, trying to tell if someone is truly badly injured and requires assistance.
Payne is up. Payne is up! She pulls Renner to her feet and rolls her into the ring. She crawls in slowly and staggers to her feet. She takes a bounce off the ropes and takes two steps and drops a falling headbutt... but Renner isn't there! She rolled out. She on her feet and crouching low, waiting for Payne to struggle up. Payne is up, doesn't see her, there she does. Oh my god! Renner locks on the Angolan crab from the frankensteiner and we have a winner by tap out at 13:42.
Dianne O'Connor lifts Renner's arm for the win and Renner helps Payne to her feet and raises her arm too. Both women take a bow and leave the ring smiling, but clasping various injuries. How do you follow that? How DO you follow that?
Vampire makes his way to the ring accompanied by Zombie Girl. His opponent is Rick Witt who comes down with Turk 187.
All four are in the ring giving each other the long hard stare for a moment and… ohhhh, there it goes! We have a big old brawl going down here. There’s chaos in the ring and referee Bob Kowalic slides out in a blinding flash of self-preservation. Turk pulls the ropes and sends Zombie Girl sprawling to the outside and then he and Witt turn their attentions to Vampire. Down goes Vampire to a chop block and shoulder tackle, and now the beat down begins.
I catch people looking at the entrance and turn in time to see the other members of Demonis Exile come charging down to the ring and invade it. They scrap with Turk and Witt and, let’s face it, are getting the hell beat out of them, but Zombie Girl is back up and in the ring. Vampire is up too. Turk takes a facefull of dropkick from Vampire, and Witt turn around right into an old fashioned face-claw from Zombie Girl. She grabs the back of his head and… wow! Picks him right up and drops him like a choke slam. Rick Witt is not a small man, guys. That was an impressive display of strength by the 7 foot monster. Various band members get their kicks in and then lift Turk 187 to his feet. Vampire signals for a microphone.
Vampire gets really close to Turk 187’s face and says “He is coming” and then points to the screen which flickers to life. [by the way, we could see the screen with the lights on this week. Good work, guys.]
We see Baz Thunder strapped to a chair not even struggling. He just looks defeated. He has a sign around his neck written in what looks to be blood that says “Who is coming? Your worst nightmare”
The camera pans over to a figure in a black hoodie with the hood pulled low over his face. We can’t see who he is because of the shadows, but I have a very good guess.
“Figured it out yet, Turk?” He throws the hood back and rushes the camera. It’s Wizard. The crowd goes nuts.
“I’m baaaaack.” Wizard gives that evil clown from your nightmares grin and then directs the camera back to Thunder. Wizard continues speaking. “I caught one of your flies in my web, I’m taking the other tonight. I’m going to leave you friendless and alone, and then I’m going to end you. Do you hear me, Turk? I AM COMING!”
The screen goes blank. Turk has a look of abject terror on his face. He struggles against the band members holding him.
Vampire turns his head slowly back to Turk, makes a death-mask grin and then spits blood in his eyes. He and his band mates beat Turk to the mat and then pound him down some more for good measure.
Zombie Girl rolls out of the ring and the drummer rolls Rick Witt under the ropes to her. She shoulder carries him out of the venue with the rest of them following.
I don’t know about you, guys, but the thought of all those insane freaks together as a faction is giving me the creeps.
|Tuesday, March 21st, 2006|
AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVE WILDER, CHRIS WALKER, AND HIRO MIFUNE.
RingKing: Ok, first round is on me. What do you guys want?
Dave Wilder: Scotch and soda for me.
Chris Walker: Guinness.
Hiro Mifune: I can't remember which American beers I like anymore. Guinness is the really dark one right?
HM: Something lighter than that.
(I buy the drinks and get a Heffewiezen for Hiro.)
HM: Yes, thank you. This is good.
RK: So, the big question, what's in store for PHW?
DW: I gotta be honest with you. There's a lot I'm not comfortable to tell you just yet. There are things in the works that aren't solid yet, and I don't want to get anyone's hopes up and have it turn out to be untrue. What I will say is that we intend to do a slow rebuilding. We set our sights really high last time and it was pretty crushing when it hit the fan. At the moment we want to give the fans a solid show and establish some angles before we start pulling in new guys.
CW: There's gonna be a women's match at the next event.
RK: Yeah? Who?
CW: Can I tell him?
DW: Yeah. Go ahead.
CW: Xaviera Renner and Sascha Payne.
RK: Does that mean Garret Jessup is coming back too?
CW: He's not sure. He's kind of feeling low about being out of shape. I keep calling and asking him to come work out, but he's got a pretty brutal work schedule.
RK: So the little film with the flames. Who's coming, huh?
DW: Oh come on. What kind of promotion would we be if we gave it away that easily?
HM: I will buy the drinks this time. Will you gentlemen have the same things?
(we agree and Hiro gets us a round.)
RK: Thanks. You and Corea had a great match tonight.
HM: Thank you. He is good to work with.
CW: Mike is the one kid I never have to yell at.
RK: So you've pretty much taken over as trainer from Alex Lobo.
CW: Yeah, but I wish Alex was here. I'm good at PT, but Alex knows the moves way better. As it is, I just sort of watch and if something makes me wince I yell at them for working unsafe. It's made me look like an asshole a few times. Thankfully Hiro is gonna start filling in the gaps I leave.
RK: Wait, you're staying?
HM: Yes. I told my agent that he had no say in this. I enjoyed working with these people far too much not to come and help rebuild this. For the brief time I was here I felt like this was my home.
DW: You see why I love these guys?
RK: I certainly do. Chris, Hiro, are you guys gonna team up again.
CW: You bet.
HM: I'm looking forward to it.
RK: Any word from Danny Youngblood?
DW: He wants to come back, but I told him he needed to wait until after he graduates from Shoreline. So we'll be working him in this summer.
CW: He's got a 3.8 gpa. I'm proud of the kid.
DW: He still lives over my garage. So he's been working out a lot. He's gonna look great this summer.
RK: That's good to hear. It was nice to see Owen Sweda and Dianne O'Connor back in the referee spots tonight.
DW: Dianne is a family friend who loves wrestling as much as we do. We couldn't keep her away. Owen and Bob (Kowalic) both work with my wife. They think it's a gas.
(another round of drinks)
CW: Vampy's band (Demonis Exiled) are playing at the next show.
DW: The whole rock'n'wrestling thing is popular now. I'm willing to give it a try. I worry that it will sour the fans who don't share the same taste in music.
CW: It's a short set before the actual show. I still think it should be afterwards. So the people who need to get home can leave before they play.
DW: We'll try it that way the next time. See which works better.
From this point on the conversation meanders into music, the merits of the WWE vs TNA, the women by the pool table, and Battlestar Galactica. It gets a lot drunker too, so I'll spare you all that.
|Wednesday, March 15th, 2006|
PHW SHOW REPORT FOR SUNDAY MARCH 12TH.
This show starts with the lights out and the the video screen up. There's Turk 187 on the screen looking pissed. Actually I think he only has the two modes, pissed and smug, but anyway, he looks pissed.
"Vampire, you think you can get away with spitting in my eye? You got another thing coming, motherfucker. You and that big freak bitch of yours are gonna pay, and pay big. Don't think I'm alone in this either." Rick Witt steps up beside him. "We're coming for you, freaks, and we're coming heavy."
The screen goes out and the lights come up. Dan Brust, the new announcer, welcomes us and gives us the "no smoking, concessions in the back, and meet and greet after the show" spiel, and then introduces Jimmy and Mikey Shenanigan as accompanied by their sister Dana with her lunchbox. They vault the ropes and she does her little catwalk strut for us.
Their opponents are Robbie and Big Gar, the Pizza Guys, who I notice are sporting new ring outfits. They don't work for that certain pizza chain anymore, so they have new green polo shirts with their own self designed pizza guy logos on the breast and their names and bigger versions of the logos on the back. They still wear the khakis and white tennis shoes though. Keepin' it real Pizza Guy style, I guess.
Robbie take the mic. "Hey before we get started I just wanted to ask..." he points to Dana "...didn't I get a lap dance from you last night?"
Mikey and Jimmy charge in hard and Robbie takes a double clothesline. Big Gar leaps in with a flying elbow to the top of Mikey's head and the brawl is on. The ref tries to get some control, but gets bumped to the corner and looks out of it. Remember, folks, wrestlers are made of steel and refs are made of paper.
It's not even close to started though, because here come Punk and Disorderly from the back to get in on the action as well. The two teams gang up on the Shenanigan Brothers, but Mad Margeret gets distracted by Dana giving him the eye from the apron. She makes some really obvious winks and come hithers and he wanders over to... get smashed in the head with a lunchbox. Oh, Mags, will you ever learn?
Dave wilder comes out and stands on the entrance ramp. "Hey. Hey. HEY! God dammit, knock it off for half a second!" The wrestlers separate reluctantly and turn their attention to Dave.
"You guys want to fight it out? You want to turn my show into a three way brawl? Well that's just great, but how about I impose some order and rules to it? Last time I looked in the mirror I still saw the owner of this promotion, so I get to do that. I get to make rules. You want a three way fight? Well, you don't get it. You get a four way fight. It's time to figure out who gets the belts anyway. Pick your corners, gentlemen. Oh, and this is elimination style, so be prepared for the long haul."
With that Kieth Risk and Toehold nelson come out and pick a corner too.
The announcer helps Referee Bob Kowalic to his feet and announces the match.
The whole play by play would take forever here, but here are some highlights. Toehold Nelson almost gets a submission by Boston crab early on, but gets a face full of boot from Jimmy Shenanigan. Big gar wipes out every man in the competition in a frenzy of activity and makes the first elimination at 6:23 with a sit down powerbomb on Kieth Risk.
Dana takes a fall from the ring apron while attempting to bonk Robbie Kawanoha over the head with her lunchbox when Mikey hits him into her. Mikey leans over the ropes to ask jimmy if she's ok, and they start arguing with Jimmy yelling that "Mom will kill us if she's hurt." Mad Margeret comes over to check on her as well and Jimmy goes after him. Robbie takes advantage of the distraction, smashes Mikey to the ground, tags in Big Gar, who climbs the turnbuckle, gets airborne, comes down in the "extra toppings" splash and gets the pin at 10:02.
Big Gar squares of with Burnout who gets the upper hand with a thumb to the eye while the ref is on the other side of him so he can't see, and proceeds to beat him down and rub his boot laces across that eye every chance he gets. He puts the toe of his boot in his eye at one point and stands up on it and Robbie can stand no more. He rushes in and the ref stops him. Margeret slips in and they send him into the ropes and clothesline him to the mat. Burnout picks him up and holds his face across his bent knee as Mags climbs the ropes. Mags is gonna go up for what they call the "flying curb" but out of nowhere comes Dana and that damn lunchbox to crack Mags in the spine. Big Gar shrugs out of Burnout's grip, and makes a diving tag to Robbie, who's now back in his corner and Robbie steams in and pounds Burnout to the corner. He returns to his own corner, hollers out "Special Delivery, and charges into the corner to smash into Burnout and then stand aside as he flops down out of it. Robbie climbs the turnbuckle, asai moonsault, one, two three, and that's all she wrote.
Pizza Guys are the new tag team champions at 18:43.
We get a dark house and a lit screen again and Some ominous music plays over a back ground of red flames. An electronically deepened voice says "He's coming." and then it goes out. Who's coming? I have my guesses.
Mike Corea comes down without music and loosens up in the ring. He's scheduled to face a mystery competitor. The story behind that? They weren't sure the mystery competitor could actually make it when they released the bill, so they hedged their bets. If they guy couldn't make it, they'd have used Chris Walker, even with the sprained ankle.
However Mr. Mystery could make it indeed. "Superman" by Three Doors Down plays and Hiro Mifune makes his way to the ring. Man that was a hard secret to keep from people, but the surprise was worth it. The crowd is super pumped and he gets an extra long "welcome back" chant.
Hiro and Mike shake hands, then lock up, and proceed to have an excellent match. The work artfully from set-spot-reversal that flows into a series of submission holds and reversals to other holds, and into pin-reversal-pin. It's all really seamless. Maybe a few people in the crowd are bored but I'm super impressed. They flow from that into some higher energy ropework and punchy kicky stuff including an amazing inziguri from Mifune and a flipping axe kick from Corea that leaves me wondering how Mifune's collar bone is still intact.
Mifune is a firm believer in the school of "save the best for last" and the series of high spots at the end of this match are death defying. We see a springboard moonsault by Mifune, a top rope guillotine from Corea, a senton splash from the apron and over the ropes from Mifune, a flying scissor kick springing from the turnbuckle ropes from Corea, and then Mifune puts it away with a corkscrew superplex that made me stand up and scream "Holy shit!" at the top of my lungs. One, two, three, and Mifune wins at 23:11 after a long and intense matchup. He and Corea get a standing ovation and another "welcome back" chant.
Domino (remember this guy?) comes down to the ring, he's without the Paisans though, just him, that ugly Hawaiian shirt, and that greased back hair. He lounges in the corner waiting for his opponent.
His opponent happens to be Russel Velvet, music, cognac, fine ladies, and all. Pizza Guys too. They all have drinks and Russels gets on the mic and says, "Um yeeaaaah. We kinda busy celebratin' 'bout the tag team belts and all, yeah. So the ladies man find it, um, an imposition that he has to get up in this here ring with you. Be cool darlins, the ladies man won't be but just a minute. Mm hmm.
Domino is livid in the ring. He and Russel have never gotten along, and he's not one to take being dismissed lightly.
Russel gets up on the apron and Domino charges him. Russels falls sideways and pulls the ropes and Domino spills out to the floor. Robbie and Big Gar toss him back into the ring where Russel lifts him, tosses him over with a simple body slam, does some disco moves and puts a leg drop down. He steps back to the corner and makes the "get up motion" and Domino staggers to his feet. He turns and sees Russel Velvet crouched and ready and charges him, russel wraps him up in a headlock and then goes up the ropes with his feet for the "Don't Call Here" and drops him, gets three and rolls out of the ring.
He takes the stick again. "See, now that didn't take any time at all, yeah. See it all works together, um yeah. I can't help it if I'm great, and you, yeah, can't help it if you're, um, stupid. Come on, people, let's go, um yeah, let's go party." And with that they exit, leaving a fuming mad Domino in the ring.
Lights go out again. It seems like it's a dramatic effect, but it's really because they're having trouble with the lights interfering with the screen. They say they should have it taken care of next week.
Anyway, lights go down, and there's Vampire on the screen with Zombie Girl behind him. He just stares at the camera. He holds up a promo picture of Baz Thunder and then a lighter and sets it on fire. "Your friend won't be coming after all, Turk." He says, and drops the burning picture. "We got to him first." It fades out and the house lights come on.
The meet and greet after the show is fun. Domino, The Pizza Guys, Punk and Disorderly, Keith Risk, Toehold Nelson, The Shenanigans, Russel Velvet, Domino, Mike Corea, Hiro Mifune, are all there along with Dave Wilder, Chris Walker, Dan Brust, and referees Owen Sweda, Dianne O'Connor, and Bob Kowalic. Actually I catch Ann Storm and Garrett Jessup lurking around too. They're still married and Ann wants to get back in the ring, she says she's trying to convince Garrett, but he's being a "pussy" about going to the gym. Sorry, Garrett, she made me promise to put it in here.
Dave and I went and had some drinks with Hiro and Chris Walker after the show. I did an impromptu interview with them which i'll post soon.
That's all for now. RingKing out.
|Friday, March 3rd, 2006|
AFTER FAR TOO LONG PHW RETURNS.
After mishaps, false starts, and just plain bad business PHW is back.
RingKing here, and I am proud to say that "It's Not a Reunion, It's a Restart" was a crashing success.
The new venue is a bit crude but, actually, that makes it cooler than the old meeting hall. There's something about watching a show in a warehouse, a certain ambiance I guess.
I talked to Dave Wilder for a few minutes before the show.
Dave informed me that "there are no contracts yet. Folks are working for the door. We all want to get the gang back together, but until it looks like this will fly no one is making any promises."
I have to admit that while Wilder seemed hopeful that the night would generate enough revenue to let him afford to let him reform the promotion, he also seemed pretty gun shy about the whole deal.
"I love PHW, and I want it to go again, but you guys have to understand this has nearly cost me my marriage. You can only make mistakes with your spouse's money for so long before you start feeling guilty and she starts feeling resentful. I'm just glad she's as willing to put up with my obsession as she is. Just no one ask me anything about television this time and I won't lose my mind, ok?"
With that in mind I took my seat and hoped for the best.
The first match of the night was a pair of newcomers. Keith Risk vs. Toehold Nelson. Keith Risk is a little flat and has no ring presence, but he sells well and made blundering into Toehold Nelson's catches and holds look really convincing. Toehold Nelson on the other hand is really interesting for a newcomer, and once he got over what looked to be a little stagefright he did a great job. His gimmick is a repertoire of classic wrestling holds. The only punchkick in the whole match was from Keith Risk and it was all setup for Nelson. I won't go play by play, but we saw a camel clutch, both half and full nelsons, a rolling toehold, a spinning toehold, a single leg crab, and a somewhat stunning variety of arm and shoulder holds. He finished a rolling legscissors into the pin from an Irish whip. Maybe some in the crowd didn't get it, but I was impressed. So the match was a little slow, and so some of the spots were clunky, I saw what they were going for and I liked it. I hope that Nelson gets the chance to refine himself.
Tag team insanity was the next course of fare and what the first match lacked in intensity this match made up for. The Shenanigan Brothers came down first and we were on our feet to welcome them back. Ok, actually we were on our feet to have a good look at their valet. I tell ya, there's nothing like a stacked up redhead in a skimpy Catholic schoolgirl outfit to get a crowd of dorks to crane our necks.
Jimmy and Mikey introduced her as their sister, Dana. She half strutted/half skipped around the ring to say hello. The lunchbox was a nice touch to her outfit.
Punk and Disorderly made their way out and climbed into the ring. Mad Margeret kept looking over at Dana and Mikey stated shoving him yelling "Are you looking at our sister?" loud enough we could all hear. That was all it took. The brawl started there and it was just happenstance that left Mikey and Margeret in the ring so referee Diane O'connor could call for the starting bell.
It actually didn't last too long. Jimmy Shenanigan and Burnout were busy scrapping into the crowd and Mad Margeret and Mikey went back and forth a few times and then Margeret hit a powerbomb and went to the turnbuckle and started to climb obviously intending to deliver some high altitude damage. He never got there. Dana crowned him with her lunchbox and sent him sprawling onto the mat. Mikey made a weak cover, but that was all it took and the three count was made. I knew that lunchbox was important.
I went and bought a soda and nearly tripped and broke my neck when the lights went out. Normally when the lights go out at a wrestling show it means something cool is gonna happen, so I groped my way quickly to my seat hoping it wasn't actually just an tripped circuit breaker.
Slayer's Live Undead came over the speakers and the crowd went fucking apeshit. The lights went on and Vampire and Zombie Girl were both in the ring. I really thought I'd never see them back. Dave Wilder is the Man! They did the devil horns pose to the four directions and then turned to look at the entrance. The music faded out.
So there I sat wondering who could possibly be cool enough to follow that intro when Hatebreed came over the system. Turk 187 came out looking absolutely huge. I was not the only person chanting "welcome back, welcome back" at that moment.
Turk and Vampire took a good hard stare at each other across the ring and then locked up hard. For the first few minutes Turk dominated with his combination of size, strength, and generally bad temper, but never count Vampire out. Turk started to get messy, jawjacking and stomping around in his little tantrums when he should have been going for three counts and Vampire seized the initiative and went through a blistering series of high spots.
Turk caught him off the ropes, though, and set him up for the Turkish drop, but Vampire reversed into a DDT. Could Vampire have made a clean win? Could Turk have? Is clean win even an option for these guys? Zombie Girl got up on the apron and distracted the ref and Vampire spit "blood" in Turk's eyes, hit him with a swinging neckbreaker and then finished him with the Liber Mortis from the top turnbuckle. One, Two, Three! and it was all she wrote. Looks like Turk 187 needs some toadies like before.
Well, I was certainly entertained, and from the amount of beer and popcorn I was showered with the people around me were too.
Hopefully there'll be another show soon.
|Saturday, January 1st, 2005|
TheInsider here, I have word that PhW has offered Peter Kharavi a one year contract. (Happy Birthday Pete!) He will begin training with Alex Lobo, and Chris Walker next week.
Stay tuned for PhW results and news, including the announcement of the card for "New Years Revolution", news on the Wizard, and an update on the Worlds Title situation.
I've heard some rumblings about the server crashing, maybe thats why there haven't been any updates?
Happy New Year! Continued best wishes and prosperity.
TheInsider, out.... Current Mood: predatory
|Wednesday, November 24th, 2004|
PHW SHOW REPORT. WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 17.
RingKing here, and what a show we had last Wednesday. I'm gonna burn through this quick, so pay attention.
First off we get a slightly ho-hum hardcore match between Wrecker and Turk 187. Yeah, it's great to see Wrecker and all, and the intensity of who-can-hit-who-with-what is fun, but the match has no heat and not a lot of wrestling at all. Maybe it's just me, but a garbage match with no heat isn't much fun to watch. Turk 187 gets the three count at 8:53 after flattening Wrecker with a stop sign.
Next up is Mike Corea (can we say push, kids?) vs Combat Chris Walker. This is a great match. I watch Walker dominate time and again only to have Corea pull some amazing save or reversal out of his ass to stop the three. When's the last time you saw a twist ankle lock applied from the floor and rolled up into a very William Regal style chin clasp? Very nice. In the end, however, experince and general meanness pays off and the kid can't hold up to the brutal punishment delivered by Combat. Lock'n'load gets the job done with a one, two, three at 10:18. Nice to see Walker getting the kid over some. I like it when the big guys come down out of the high card to work with the kids.
We get a tag team bout next and it's the Pizza Guys vs Punk and Disorderly. Now, these guys had some killer brawls before all the bullshit, so I'm expecting first rate heat, but I'm a little disapointed here. No trash talk or plot work, just entrances and they get to slobberknockin'.
Ok, the heat thing aside, did I mention the slobberknocking? Holy crap! Mad Margeret and Robbie are in first and don't seem to be able to get enough of the other guys fist in their faces. it's like they're enjoying it. Robbie throws off a brilliant sitdown powerbomb and I swear I hear the wind leave Margeret's lungs even over the shouting.
Some tag back and forth between Robbie and Big Gar keeping Margeret away from his corner as Burnout looks Unimpressed? He actually yawns. This is funny. It just makes the PGs work Margeret all the harder. Margeret finally does the slippery fish and makes the slow crawl to his corner where Burnout pretends not to notice!?!?
What the fuck is going on here? The PGs drag Margeret back and work him over a little, no wait, a lot more. At one point they actually toss him into his corner and Burnout turns around and asks someone to get him a hot dog.
More beat down and finally Margeret is down for One, two... here comes Burnout with the save. I was really thinking that he was gonna let them have the win as well as trash his partner.
Burnout goes knucklecrazy all over Robbie and Gar and then tosses Margeret into the corner, steps out, tags him and comes back in. It's pretty much still two against one, though, because Mad Margeret is a heap on the apron.
It looks like the PGs have it wrapped up, but Burnout throws a blatant low blow that gets the PGs the win, but maybe at the cost of Robbie's future family life. The PGs leave the ring yelling about what a couple of freak-ass motherfuckers P&D are.
Burnout gets up, dust himself off and grabs a mic. "Margeret, you asshole, maybe this will teach you to ask before you borrow my boots." All that over some boots? Crazy fuckers.
Finally we get a main event consisting of Russel Velvet and Domino. Are we finally gonna see some laft over heat? You bet. Domino comes out. Takes the mic and proceeds to call Russel a loser and a piece of shit. He says that if he has any sense at all He'll leave the arena and save himself a career ending beat down.
Does Russel take his advice? Oh hell no. He comes to the ring with full entourage and music. The Pizza Guys are there with Robbie still looking a little pained. Also along are 12, count 'em, one dozen fine ladies! Crowd goes Winston Wolf and Russel takes a mic. "You ain't got the sense god gave a mule, boy. The Ladie's Man has got to teach you a lesson, yeah. You, fine ladies, you hang out here for just a second. The Ladie's man has some business to take care of."
With that it's on. Russel Velvet is in fine form and Domino is at his dirtiest. Some great moves come crashing along as this turns into a spotfest. The big highlight is Russel doing a fireman's carry takeover that leaves Domino on the tree of woe. That's new and clever.
Domino does a twisting elbow splash of the middle of the top rope. Russel lands a picture perfect moonsault. Domino gets off a death valley driver. Russel tosses Domino into the ropes and catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. I could go on and on. Like I said, spotfest.
Finally Russel sets Domino up for the don't call here, but Domino shrugs him off and tries for the Jersey Turnpike. Russel pulls out of that one, but Domino catches him with a eye poke when the ref can't see. Domino send him into the ropes and rolls him up and uses the ropes for leverage. The ref counts to three and never sees the cheat.
Domino tears out of the ring as Robbie and Gar scramble after him and runs out of the ring like his ass is on fire.
Russel takes the mic. "Hey, Domino, if you gotta cheat to win then the Ladie's Man has to ask 'who's the loser? yeah. You ain't worth the paper you're printed on, yeah, and that's a fact, Jack. Come on, people, that don't mean nothin' we gots some good times to have." And with that Velvet and entourage leave like they he was the winner afterall. Music and all. Gotta love the Ladie's Man, yeah.
|Saturday, November 13th, 2004|
TheInsider, Live At PhW Open Try-outs...
TheInsider here. First, let me apologize to all of you who may have gone to the PhW website YESTERDAY expecting to read about PhW's first ever "Open Try-outs." I misplaced my scheduler and got the dates wrong. Oh well, no blood, no foul. I just appreciate everyone's patience.
Next, I would like to thank Dave Wilder for letting me come to the try-out, and allowing me to follow up with a report on it. Given PhW's dubious financial situation I was suprised to even hear there was a try-out. Originally there wasn't going to be, but it turns out that in an off-handed way we have "Combat" Chris Walker and Robbie Kawanaho to thank for it. Each man donated a sizeable chunk of money to both Wilder and PhW, and Walker paid the gift tax on it.
Turns out Walker used his One hundred thousand dollar cash prize he won from his last mixed martial arts fight and fifty thousand he made on his most recent capture pooled with fifty thousand of Robbie's "toughman" money and gave it Dave Wilder to pay off some bills, and get some rent paid on a space!
I asked Walker about this at the try-outs and he just looked at me. "Why shouldn't I help Dave out? He gave me a job and a place to stay when I was down and out, I owe him so much I felt this was the least I could do." Robbie echoed roughly the same thing. "Combat approached me with a proposition and I wholeheartedly agreed, Chris and I are two of the few athlete's who didn't leave PhW when it folded. We worked doing other things, but never asked to opt out of contract's to pick up other wrestling work. Mr. Wilder kept us on, unpaid when we could have left, but out of loyalty we stayed, now we're helping him like he helped us."
I wanted to get a statement from the boss himself, but Alex Lobo (along with Youngblood to "evaulate" and if need be, train the talent) told me he was still in a slight bit of shock from Robbie and Chris's suprise (apparently it happened without his knowledge, he was caught off guard and was said to be very touched) that he left the training space to get some fresh air.
Let me just say, I haven't seen this sorry a group of freaks since the last time I went to the Puyallup Fair. I didn't envy "The Hitmen" but I thought if anyone could find gold in this pile of turds it would be these two.
The try-out call brought out both men and women from all walks of life. Among the hopefuls were two models, an ex fireman, two physical trainers from local gyms, and a various assortment of strippers and wanna be's. Observing the try-outs were a handful of PhW talent, the aformentioned Hitmen, Xaviera Renner, Combat, and Vampire.
Not many people stood out, and after the try-outs fewer were standing up. The Hitmen "stretched" all the male talent, and Xaviera Renner took out a lot of her agressions on the females. One tense incident came when a Wrestler from some obscure Canadian federation decided he wanted to "shoot" on Lobo and bloodied him. Danny Youngblood came unglued and nearly T-bone suplexed him right out of his boots. he then tossed the guy over the ropes, where I think it was "Combat" screamed at him to have some respect then made the guy piss himself by slapping on the "Lock-N-Load!"
After that, Walker and The Hitmen procceded to tell the wide-eyed and slightly scared crowd that this wasn't a game, and they needed to show some respect. Walker added that none of them could carry Alex Lobo's jock, and if they were just going to treat this like some game, or stand around playing grab ass that they could leave. No one left.
A lot of the strippers thought twice about locking up with Xaviera, the ones who did were stretched pretty good. I think that and getting berated by the trainers opened a lot of eyes. A couple of the female talent were rated as "passable" by Renner. No one got a "good" rating. At the end the only woman who made through the whole training and didn't quit was a female ex-firefighter named Alison Coleman. She took a lot of tough moves, but hung with Renner through the entire day long session. You could tell that Coleman was definetaly into the athletics of it and not the cheesecake aspect so I think that got her some respect from Xaviera. (Though, to be honest I didn't ask Renner what she thought because, frankly she scares the piss outta me!)
No one on the men's side stood out that much. The trainers from the local Golds Gym looked good, but got gassed by Lobo and Youngblood, especially by Danny, who even though he's got about the same type of physique really seems to resent ripped, muscle bound guys.
Apparently not having learned anything from seeing "The Canadian Destroyer" get dropped on his head hours earlier a former Army ranger who had been outside the ring making sarcastic comments all day trashed talked some of the students saying that "it was all fake" and "why didn't these pussies just kick ass?"
Youngblood asked him if he was so tough how about he prove it in the ring. The guy obliged, and I was actually getting a little worried for Younblood after seeing all this guys scars and tats but I didn't get a chance to worry much and neither did Danny because Walker asked him if he could do the honor.
Youngblood and Lobo just kind of grinned and told "Combat" they'd be getting some water if he needed any help. Walker sized the guy up and introduced himself. The guy (who insisted everyone call him "Cobra") just kind of looked at Walker and snickered. I guess he noticed Combat's Marine Corps tattoo because he said something about it being a long time since he got to show up a Marine and tried to suprise Walker with a shoot to a double leg pick-up.
"Cobra" was able to get Chris on the ground, but thats about all he was able to do before Walker just dis-mantled him. Walker just kept brutalizing the guy's right arm. Cobra got in some hard punches, and at one point gouged Combat's eye, but Walker just kept locking different submission moves on Cobra's arm.
After working Cobra's arm to the point where it was hanging at his side Walker kept kicking him the thighs with Muy Thai shin kicks. Cobra did get in some more solid punches and a low blow. After hitting Walker in the groin he tried to come off the ropes but Combat planted him with a spinebuster.
This was the first time I had ever gotten to see Walker use "The Combat Rock" a kind of "Burning Hammer"/"Ace Crusher" type manuever that he'd been working on with Alex Lobo. Devastating and very impressive. Walker wiped up the floor with the now curiously silent "Cobra" who never said anything and just sort of sulked for the rest of the try-out.
Suprisingly the most impressive person there turned out to be a guy who didn't even come to try out. Youngblood wound up striking up a conversation with a kid he had seen watching with a lot of interest. He noticed the kid was wearing a t-shirt printed with the words "Meridian High School Wrestling" and decided to chat the kid up.
Turns out the kid had come to the try-outs with a friend and wound up staying to watch. He was very informed, articulate and polite. He had a lot of old time wrestling knowledge and I think he made a really good impression with Walker, Lobo, and especially Danny. He was quite taken aback when Lobo asked him if he wanted to try out. Seemed excited and geniunely honored. He took his jacket off and climbed into the ring. Lobo seemed impressed with his grace and size and asked him if he was indeed on the wrestling team and what was his name.
Kid introduced himself as Peter Kharavi and said he was on the Meridian wrestling team. He told Lobo that he'd gone to school back east in New York and was on the wrestling team and football team in school there. I asked him how he'd wound up in Seattle and he told me that after 9-11 his father took a job in Seattle and moved his family to the west coast. Peter said that his dad was an Iraqi that worked at Microsoft. He told me that his moms American and his dad had lived in the U.S. for thirty years but that after 9-11 all his friends stopped talking to him and his family just couldn't keep up with being hassled all the time so they all agreed to move to the first city Peter's dad could get work in.
The impressive thing to me is that all the time while relaying this story Peter didn't seem bitter or angry. He really just seemed kind of laid back about it. He just told all of us- "What would've been the use of getting angry, it would have justified everyones negativity." "Besides, he said, all his new friends in Seattle didn't care where his dad was from."
After that we all just kind of looked at each other. Danny was quiet and Walker looked a little sheepish. Lobo asked Peter how big he was and who was his favorite wrestler? Peter answered by telling him that he was 6'3" and weighed 253 and that his favorite wrestlers were Jake "The Snake" Robert's who he got to see as a kid when his uncle took him to an event in MSG, and that even though he didn't wrestle anymore he was a big fan of "Taz" because of his judo background, and that he (Peter) had started taking judo after seeing Taz on the old ECW t.v. shows.
So for the next six hours Walker, Youngblood and Lobo worked out with this kid Peter Kharavi while myself, Xaviera Renner and the handful of auditioners left just watched them all. Everything wrapped up like an hour ago. Wilder came back with Pizza and Subs for everyone and informed all who came that they'd be in touch and thanks for coming.
I cornered Peter to get to know him a little better and noticed as Alex Lobo spoke to Dave Wilder while gesturing towards us. Wilder came over and thanked me for coming. I reciprocated as I was just glad he remembered me. He introduced himself to Peter told him that he'd made quite an impression. Wilder asked Peter how old he was, and I was shocked when he sheepisly replied "seventeen." He said that his birthday was in January.
Wilder thanked Peter again got his contact information. It was relayed to me that they aren't going to officially speak to Peter other than to offer him a job setting up the ring, and that if he was still interested that they'd sit down in January and hammer out a developmental deal. Wilder then went over to meet with Alison Coleman. I don't know what exactly they spoke about but afterwards I saw Wilder, Xaviera Renner and Alex Lobo leave together to apparently discuss the potential new talent.
Chris Walker left to go to his job bouncing at the club and Vampire had to go home to study for a poly-sci midterm. That left me with no one to interview or go chug a few with so I raced home to post this report for you fans.
So thats how PHW's first open try-out went, keep logging on here for other news, events and PHW related gossip.
TheInsider out.. Current Mood: predatory
TheInsider at PhW tryouts-
TheInsider here at PhW tryouts, things have been going on for a couple of hours. There have been a couple of suprises, some rumors, and at least one decent looking prospect. I'll post later with more details.
TheInsider out.. Current Mood: good
|Tuesday, November 9th, 2004|
RingKing, I have gotten word that Dave Wilder will be trying out some new athletes this Friday morning. You want me to head over to the practice ring and give you a report?..
TheInsider, out.. Current Mood: predatory
|Thursday, November 4th, 2004|
TUESDAY'S BRAWLFEST (NO, NOT THE ELECTION).
RingKing here, and what a show. If you weren't one of the 226 in attendance you certainly missed out.
The parking lot BBQ is decent although mostly just wrestlers and a few hardcore fans. Hint, when we say BBQ it means you get to hang out with the talent. They like BBQ. Plus Demonis Exiled are freakin' loud, man. (loud enough that the cops showed up and pulled the plug after four songs).
Match number one is Paul Dwayne vs. Mike Corea. I'm sure you all remember Paul Dwayne as the Wizard's henchman and how funny he was in that role, but we get Paul Dwayne without a schtick tonight. In a way I'm glad that he won't be trying to ride on the coat-tails of someone else's angle, especially when they aren't here, but I hope he gets a thing soon, because he's not technically sound enough to be a schtickless wrestler.
Mike Corea, on the other hand, is. Where did they find this kid? (I've looked all over. He's not from anywhere). This was a great pairing of punchy kicky versus technical excellence. Mostly it was a mat game with Dwayne breaking holds and getting some hard shots in and then Corea wrapping him up again old style. Not a lot of slams at all, which leads me to believe that Corea is from some sort of grappling background and hasn't learned to throw or sell slams yet. No matter. Great match. Corea wins at 7:35 with a head and arm choke by tap out.
Match number two is an all out brawl between the Pizza Guys and Sammy Suede and his partner Russel Velvet. Pizza Guys come out. Take the mic. Tell Sammy and Russel that they shouldn't bother coming out because they aren't ready for this kind of fight. Sammy and Russel run to the ring and it's on. All four guys in the ring toe to toe and trading punches and slams so hard and loud that I'm wincing every time someone hits the mat. Owen Sweda can't make anyone leave the ring and calls for a double DQ. Wilder comes out and says "No way. If they want to brawl, let 'em. First team to get a three count wins." The crowd likes that.
Lots of saves, as you would expect. Sammy Suede finally gets it over on Robbie with the no deposit, no return at 10:14 while Russel and Gar battle through the crowd.
A three way elimination match between Xaviera Renner, Sky, and Ann Storm is up next. I'm not really exaggerating when I say that PHW has the best fucking women's matches in the country. Not just hot chicks rolling around. Don't get me wrong they are hot, but god damn they can wrestle too. If I were to pick who's stayed in best shape and form out of the whole night I'll have to go with Ann Storm.
Sky is eliminated at 3:13 by the Storm front, and Xaviera Renner gets the win at 11:03 with a new move called the Brazillian bombshell (sitdown powerbomb with a flipover bridge pin).
It's nice to see that some plots aren't gone. Domino takes the ring and grabs a mic. He proceeds to call Vampire the biggest freak in the world and to ask him to come meet him mano a mano now that it's just them. No valets. No bodyguards.
Lights go out. Lights go on. Vampire is standing right behind Domino with his arms crossed. Domino makes the slow turn and sees him and pow! Vampire pops him right in the mush. Owen Sweda makes a scramble to get the fallen mic out of the ring as these two proceed to knock the taste out of each others mouths.
Domino gets the upper hand and sets Vampy up for the Jersey turnpike but Vampire squirts out and throws a awesome superkick into his kisser. Some more back and forth and Vampire tries to set up the liber mortis, but Domino makes the escape and they go back to punchy kicky and a few hip tosses. Domino throws a low blow when the ref isn't looking and pulls off the Jersey turnpike and gets the pin at 10:54 and gets a lot of heat from the crowd. He takes the mic and calls everybody a freak and then abuses Vampire a little more with his boot and leaves looking very pleased with himself.
The last match is Turk 187 vs Danny Youngblood and they both come to the ring looking fit and ready to go. Turk has lost his little beer belly. They stand toe to toe and look each other up and down. I guess they don't care much for what they see. It starts with trash talking and then shoving. Shoving turns to punches and punches turn to slams. It's like a schoolyard fight gone to the nth degree. At one point Turk drops danny onto the ropes from a gorrilla press and then spits on him. Danny crawls up him from the floor, all the while getting punched in the head and fishhooks Turk and yanks. I've never seen that in pro wrestling before. Turk sells like crazy as Danny lays into him tooth and nail. At least I hope Turk is just selling. When he comes up he's juicing like crazy and I can't really tell where from. No more than a minute later Danny is juicing too and the ring looks like feeding time at the lion cage.
Both guys are staggering around like they're gonna pass out and they're playing up the blood in the eyes thing like they're having trouble finding each other. Long bloody story short Turk takes advantage of Danny trying to clear his vision to axe handle him senseless and the bring down the Turkish drop. One, two, three at 15:26.
Dave Wilder made a post-show announcement. They don't have a fixed venue or night yet, but there will be another show in two weeks. Wedesday the 17th. Watch this space for the lineup.
|Tuesday, October 26th, 2004|
PHW RETURNS! LIVE SHOW TUESDAY NOVEMBER SECOND!
Paul Dwayne vs. Mike Corea
The Pizza Guys vs. Sammy Suede and Russel Velvet.
Xaviera Renner vs. Sky vs. Ann Storm (three way elimination match)
Domino vs. Vampire
Danny Youngblood vs. Turk 187
Pre-show parking lot BBQ with Demonis Exiled live!
|Sunday, October 17th, 2004|
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
To tell the truth, we'd like to know about some of these folks too, but here's a rundown of what some PHW stars are doing now.
Alex Lobo is working the lucha circuit in northern Mexico with his uncle.
Danny Youngblood is taking classes at Shoreline and working at a shipping company.
When last we heard Domino was bartending in a downtown nightclub.
Sammy Suede is working in the midwest doing wharehouse shows.
The Vampire has a band called Demonis Exiled. They're pretty good if you like death metal. He also works at a call center.
Ann Storm is also working at that very same call center.
Sky is still dancing.
Turk 187 is working at a bakery.
Sasha Payne and Garret Jessup are very happy together and would like to announce their impending marriage.
Wrecker is hoping to get on with a certain Californian promotion.
Rick Witt is attending a wrestling school.
If any of you know where and what anyone else is doing reply to this post. Thanks, RingKing.
|Thursday, October 14th, 2004|
AN OPEN LETTER FROM PHW TO THE FANS.
Some of you may have received this along with a newsletter in your snailmail. For those of you who weren't on that mailing list or have changed addresses here it is reposted in it's entirety.
I'm sure it didn't escape your attention that at the beginning of May there ceased to be PHW shows, and that the website was taken down. We apologize for stopping so abruptly and for not giving any reason why, or notice that it was going to happen.
The story can now be told...
On April 25th long time wrestling promoter and a man that I learned the trade from, as well as a dear friend of many of us here at PHW died of liver failure. Bobby and I had our differences, but I counted him among my chosen family and I respected him enormously.
His estranged wife, however, can go to hell. I won't go into all the complex legal details, and believe me they are bewilderingly complex, but suffice to say she made a play to take over PHW. There was just enough that we hadn't paid off to Bobby that she had what our lawyer claimed was "A reasonable chance of screwing you for the next few years until you finally shake her off."
We did the only thing we really could. We shut it all down. As far as we saw it the only way to make sure that she didn't see a single cent out of us was not to make any money.
It wasn't an easy decision to make. We were really having a lot of fun and we were actually starting to see some return. Hell, it was to the point that Kim and I could pay the talent without having to dip into her paycheck.
We also didn't want to see our wrestling family broken up, but people needed to work, so we let everyone out of their contracts and paid off whatever we could by liquidating PHW assets.
The hardest part was watching the local talent suddenly have nowhere to do what they were getting so good at.
So, once again, we apologize, and hope you understand. We were in a tight spot and saw only one option, so we took it. She got nothing, we didn't get screwed, but things sure got screwed up.
Now, on to the good news. We now own PHW in it's entirety. It only took tearing the whole thing down to do it, but it's ours.
What does that mean? That means that PWH is back, baby! You can expect us to start booking shows towards the end of this year. We're still looking around for a venue or venues, but it's on! We're already talking to wrestlers. Some of the old crew are hoping to come back, and were also looking at some great new talent.
Hopefully this will be bigger and better than ever before.
Here's looking forward to a new beginning,
Dave and Kim Wilder
|Wednesday, October 13th, 2004|